My daughter cries when I leave for work. The fact that she is sad because of me makes me feel horribly guilty, but I also have to admit that I like knowing I’m important to her. Guilt versus ego. Of course I’d rather she didn’t feel that way and avoid the guilt, but I know that a few minutes later she will already feel comforted by a teddy bear and that it’s an obligatory, indispensable stage in the normal development of children, and that she will get over it. This stage starts around 10 months and lasts a few weeks.
This is a normal phase in our ‘job’ as a parent, and you shouldn’t question this situation. But our function as a parent could be detrimental if we make our children dependant on us for certain situations for which they don’t need us when they’re older.
And if at your other job, the one outside the house, you could choose, would you rather be essential?